Bansko 2011

Bansko - Breathe. Watch it on YouTube in HD 1080p as it's much better like that ... anyway, presenting The Return of Kaminitsa Stu in Bansko 2011.

Saturday – Pre departure flicks.

We're in Asda.

Somewhere, someone in a meeting a few years back, some money grabbing arse decided that they should make in-flight meals an added paid-for extra rather than something that is included in the cost of your flight. And someone else decided that for this mini-dish of Russian roulette, you should pay around £20. Well fuck that. Right now we're buying hand-luggage safe deodorant, tiny bottles of shower gel and armfuls of sausage rolls and other handy snacks, all of which, when we go home and secrete them into our hand luggage, will slowly be squashed to death over the next 24 hours.

I also urge Stu to buy a pad and pen as he'll need to write this year's report to make up for last year's absence.

Stu: No way! Not again.

I buy them for him anyway.

Back home and Stu gets his insurance online as we settle in to watch Avalanche: Nature Unleashed . A film without merit of any sort other than the fact that it was filmed in Borovets. “Ohh, look at the old gondola”, “Wow remember flying down that run?”, “I still have a bruise from that”, and eventually, “This is really shit.” We switch it off and watch Borat instead.

Sunday – Planes, buses and free beer.

A bit of a lie in this morning, as we're just nipping across to Edinburgh for an afternoon flight. The plane has just come up from Newcastle, and it's so hot when we get on the pilot actually apologies. Stu needs beer. Thing is, he doesn't get it. I was asleep by now but it was something about them not taking Scottish notes (we just took off from Edinburgh!) on the plane. Just water and really flat sausage rolls then.

There's a tip, they don't really take Scottish notes anywhere in Bulgaria (or in many places in England for that matter, especially the increasingly rare pound note) so if you are taking cash, take clean, umarked English notes. To be honest, we use the ATM machines dotted all over and have never had a problem. Whatever the amount you withdraw, from 10lev to hundreds, most banks charge the same commission, so best to take out larger amounts and use the bank machine once or twice over the week, than to use it every day.

Steam pours out into the Sofia night as the doors of this flying oven eventually open and through both luck and desperation we're first through Bulgarian passport control. This mad dash was all for nothing though as the luggage carousel, which has had one heavy bag to many today, creaks, cracks and dies. Stu has a horror-show visit to the toilets in the airport ... Stu: Just don't! … as the men in orange vests look bewildered and nervous whilst pushing buttons on, poking sticks in, and shouting at, the broken carousel. More flights are coming in and just as the panic really starts to set in there's a large buzz and the thing reluctantly trundles into life, spitting out bags, skis, snowboards and smoke.

Big Rab and his entourage who we've been chatting to online are on the same flight, and as we all troop out together we fleetingly meet Steve C who runs http://www.earlybirdtransfers.co.uk/ with his wife Wendy and who, more importantly, has brought beer! This is most welcome, but it delays us a bit, so after working out what coach we're supposed to be on, and whose name the holiday is booked under, we're last on-board.

This means we're sitting apart and the trip to the halfway point of the transfer is a subdued affair. The stopping off point is the same one we used last year, both going to and from the airport. It's half cafe, half little shop with very limited toilet facilities, so if there's any inkling of anything needed sorted in that area, get there first as a queue always develops fast. It's in a sleepy little town, but this place must do a roaring trade as a few coaches were pulling away as we arrived and more arrived as we left.

Stu's feeling a bit under the weather with the heat so stays put on the coach as I go off to smoke, chat to Rab, blag another free beer and buy some mixers for the bottle we bought at the airport. As we set off again, I'm decanting vodka into half drunk bottles of diet coke, much to the amusement of those sat around us. The drink perks Stu right up though and before you know it, we're in a happy mood, cruising past the Mura, the hotel Stu and I stayed in in 2007.

I stayed in the Strazhite last year though, and had been trying to tell Stu where it was in relation to the Mura, but now he could see for himself. His jaw dropped a bit as he realised how much more central it was, right next to the Lion, a five minute walk to the gondola and I have to mention it again, with the best crepe stall in Bulgaria just across the road. We carry boards, boot, bags and our free welcome meal (the now ubiquitous bag of weird) to our room. It has a Mini-bar, LCD TV, balcony overlooking the courtyard, all the usual trappings, and is lovely until we scatter our stuff all over it and hit the town.

Rab had said everyone was heading to the Friendly Bar and so that's where we end up, meeting so many people old and new. I think the most surreal meeting was with Daniel, who although I'd been chatting to him on and off for years online I'd only ever met him once in the flesh, as that was for a few seconds in Pamporovo, way back in 2004.

It's a long night and we finally leave around 3, heading back via the crepe stall. We're out of the bar earlier than some though as a few Facebook pictures that appear the next morning would suggest. Remember you came home from holiday and took your film to be developed? These days the pictures are online before the drool from the corner of your mouth has had time to dry on the pillow. Technology isn't always a good thing.

I hope you're writing all this stuff down Stu as we'll never remember it.

Stu: Fuck right off. Really.

Monday – Lego Horses and Pub Evil.

Four and a half hours later and we're in the Happy End, white as sheets, shivering and collecting our lift passes. It's lucky we had enough sense not to wander up here in our pyjamas. We pay the 5lev deposit and get our lift passes and that's it as far as our relationship with the reps goes this week. Lou (see 2007 and 2010) isn't there this year and as there's a ton of stuff happening with the skidvd and bulgariaski crowd we don't sign up for anything. Next time we see a Balkan uniform is when we get picked up at the end of the week.

Stu buys sunglasses on the walk back to the hotel as the sun really is splitting the skies, and our heads, and we head straight through to the Strazhite dining room for some much needed stodge. It's the usual selection of cereals and meats, and a first for Stu, square meatballs. Or shouldn't that be meatsquares? Meatcubes?

Belly's full of bits of what we eventually conclude must be Lego horses we get the free bus to the gondola and make use of the service centre, getting a wax and sharpen for less than two pints in the UK. We get a gondola pod to ourselves and have a nice relaxing trip up the hill. I mention to Stu that I haven't seen him write anything down yet.

Stu: No way, I swore I wasn't doing it again. They used to be travel guides and nice reports but they're become more and more insane each year. There was a clown peeling a banana in one! And a man in a Shrek costume. And a horse getting shot. And a man skiing in a thong.

That was all in the same year, 2008, the year you're convinced we got drugged on the first night. It was a bit mental that year though.

Stu: I'm sure we were in a coma, with some Bulgarian kids channel playing on the TV.

Look, just write something travel guidey …

Stu: (Taking out a pad and pen, and looking at me with hatred as he starts to write) March is a good time to come to Bansko for a winter holiday when it comes to queues and space on the piste as it's a quieter time. No half term holidays and no major festivals like Christmas, New Year or big holidays in neighbouring countries like Greece or Macedonia. The downside to this time of year though is that you tend to get 'Freeze/Thaw' conditions. It can be icy in the morning then nice and soft towards lunch time and beyond, sometimes becoming slushier in the late afternoon. It then inevitably freezes again when the sun dips below the horizon.

See there you go!

We think the conditions are quite good especially compared to past years seasons, both in Bansko and Borovets, when its been seriously touch and go. Steve C says its the worst season in Bansko for a long time but considering Stu's last time here was that snowless 2007, he's very happy with it.

Off the gondola and and onto the six man chair we go for a run down blue six. I belt away and meet Stu again on my second lap. He's looking a bit red in the face.

Stu: This is my first run in two years and does not go very well. My confidence takes a battering that I never really seem to recover from. Memories of Yasterbets 3 and Popangelov seem like a lifetime ago. I'm about 4 stone heavier and I get punished for it with horrid fitness levels.

We slowly get to the pubs at Shiligarnika and meet a whole pile of people from the forums. We spend much longer that we should drinking and chatting but the sun is out and the beer is cold, but after a wee while I realise Stu's red face wasn't just that he was puffed out, he was beginning to fry.

We get going again, after strapping each other into our boards (a fine line between a confidence building beer and too much!) and again I meet Stu on my second circuit. He's had a bit of a bump so I stick with him for a bit, bundling him into a gondola pod to take him home.

Stu: I find a good first day is essential to the success of your skiing or boarding week and its probably my fault it didn't go brilliantly. I should have taken my own advice and instead of getting banjaxed at Shiligarnika, could have hit more runs instead and ironed out my heel problems. Luckily though TK spots instantly what I'm doing wrong and offers up some advice, later reiterated by Steve C . This turns out to be a great help and bad habits become less and less over the week.

I hare it down the ski road which is brilliant until the last few kilometres where it becomes very slushy. Steve C skis past and very kindly offers me a pole to grab just as I was about to get off and walk and gives me enough momentum to get to the bottom, but only just.

I miss Stu at the bottom. Apparently he'd fallen asleep on the gondola and was awoken to some concerned looks and a light shake from some Ulen staff just before he headed back up the hill.

After a quick crash at the hotel, we're out at the Irish Bar meeting, Daniel, Lou, Canski, Tanny, Marky J, Will, Steve C, Wendy and loads of other people who had arranged to be out in Bansko this week. It's Lou's birthday so we head off to a lovely Mehana in the old town for a lovely slap up meal of meat and fire.

Woooof

We are all getting to know each other and having a laugh, then Donald Duck walks in talking like Papa Lazlo from the league of Gentlemen. He has our photo taken with many of us and in an impressive demo of his colour printer and ink supplies, he's back only a short time later to try and sell them to us.

Next stop is down some lethal stairs to a Karaoke Bar, called Pub Evil. Really … I took a photo.

We almost have the place to ourselves and the mic is dominated by blue Skidvd t-shirts. I belt out Achy Breaky Heart for old times sake and then spying some AC/DC on the list I give Thunderstruck a vocal battering. People are drunk so they clap anyway. We're quite close to the hotel, but even closer to the crepe stall, so end up in the room, eating a ham and cheese delight with a belly full of beer and watching women exploring each other on the telly.

Tuesday – Some filming with the pole and a lobster on holiday.

I'm up and away after gathering up my new Kodak playsport camera, fisheye lens and the monopod that arrived from Hong Kong two days before we left. The monopod isn't brilliant and the weight of the camera keeps spinning it round so I have to seal each join with duct tape, meaning that I can't retract the bloody thing. This in turn means I have a big metal pole sticking out of my backpack that quite frankly could have been lethal, but fortunately I get away with. I've since bought a much larger and much better one and we'll see what results I get with that in Borovets 2012.

I've also got a little MD80 camera that I tape to my board that produces some startling shots from very unusual angles … most of which I like but I end up only using a few seconds from it in the 'Bansko: Breathe' video above.

The finished shots are weird, as someone commented it's like a golfer was dragging me around, but I love the finished results and spent a happy morning filming from the very top down to the pubs at Shili and having a beer as I reviewed the footage.

Stu: It's taking me quite a while to wake up. I finally have a good stretch and head out to a cloudy and cold day, quite a contrast to yesterday. It's actually so late when I head out I'm kind of paranoid as to when the gondola shuts so I decided to spend the day getting my confidence back up, a run on the blue 6 circuit then a few runs on the empty greens at the bottom. I took a huge knock yesterday so I feel I need to find my legs again. Bump into TK who has been filming and after a bite to eat overlooking the slopes we spend the rest of the day playing around for the camera on the easy greens.

I tried filming Stu on the poma but after getting off at the top I bang the monopod with my board as I'm strapping in and the fisheye lens goes flying. The playsport is a brilliant little camera, second only to a Go-Pro HD or Hero2 for filming this sort of stuff, and at a third of the price. (Around £100 when I bought it. As there's a newer version out now, the Zx5, you'll get my one, the Zx3 for a lot less on ebay) It's completely shockproof and waterproof, in fact you can film underwater with it to a fair depth, and it's shaped like a mobile phone. The trouble is that the fisheye lens for it is attached simply by a magnetic ring, so it can steam up in your pocket or with a wee knock can fly off and travel a fair distance. I retrieve it, but by the time I get going Stu has almost finished his last run of the day.

I race Stu down to the town with him on the gondola and me on the ski road but as there's no Steve C today I really do have to get off my board and walk for a bit ... stopping for a wee rest in the 'Caves' bar.

There is a pub quiz tonight at the Irish Bar and we do very well, but end up coming second and not winning the 140lev prize. The captain of the winning team goes to collect the cash and we discover he's the boyfriend of the girl reading out the questions (we're saying nothing). People get wayyy too drunk in there and we head out, wandering back to the hotel via The Lion. There are chants of 'Let's go fucking mental, let's go fucking mental' coming from inside. We don't go in.

Wednesday – Stock cars, suncream and Don't Stop Beleiving

We make breakfast! Both of us! This is the second time for Stu … the first being one day in 2005. We continue on this unexpected roll by getting the free bus up to the gondola and then walking onto a pod that we get to ourselves.

We've both seen YouTube videos of this place at busy times with things like 2 or 3 hour queues and heard about people who have given up and walked up to Chalin Valog (the Bansko gondola mid-station) to get a pod, and actually save some time. We've always managed to avoid the peak and although we've seen some queues at the weekends, we've never really been troubled by lack of uplift, a major bugbear of many of Bulgaria's detractors. Maybe we've been lucky all these years.

Anyway, we're alone until Chalin Valog when we're joined by an older couple, with a guy who is a huge stock-car fan. Once we've exhausted our very limited knowledge of the Scottish stock-car scene, in around 7 seconds, he gets to moaning about the amount of people who belt down the ski road at a rate of knots, saying it's a green run and they shouldn't be on it. I have to disagree saying that the only alternative to get back into Bansko town is the gondola, and most skiers and boarders who are any good will always prefer to slide home rather than sit in a pod. Before our chat comes to blows we're at the top station and go our separate ways, but will just say that if you want to stick to greens there are plenty up there that don't double up as exit routes for the mountain … and any part of skiing or boarding means making way for people better than you and looking out for people who aren't.

Stu gives a big apple vodka flavoured burp as we get off and split up. I do top to bottom, he does the Blue 6 run a few times, until we both meet up and head for Shili. Everyone is there already, including Koolski and his wife (Gerry and Sandra of http://www.koolski.com) over from Borovets for the day, and I quickly film them all for the video above. Tanny dishes out more beers to everyone (Thankyou Tanja Vertriest) and I sit back looking at the red run towering over us.

In fact, I decide, why am I looking at it when I could be riding it. I leave my stuff with Stu, show him how to work the camera, head up the T-Bar, and promptly fall off the bugger.

Stu: hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

It wasn't a sore one, but I somehow managed to slip down a six foot wall of snow at the side of it and take a good twenty minutes getting my board off and climbing back out. It was one of those really slow motion things where you see a big drop to the side and say to yourself, 'Christ, I hope I don't fall into that'. Then it immediately becomes a big magnet, dragging you towards it. No amount of hell edge was getting me out of this, and it's just lucky I managed to get the T-Bar as far away from my crotch as possible before I fell and it ripped anything off.

At long last I get sorted, get back down and properly on the T-Bar this time. I'm sweating buckets as I pass the same point again, but so far across the slope in the other direction that the whole T-Bar is bending. Who invented these things? A bastard, that's who. T-Bars can fuck off.

Anyway, get strapped in and I hear later that Steve C said 'six turns an no more' … I think he was bang-on. Stu films it like a pro, and the end appears above but thankfully (or unfortunately) he didn't manage to capture the accidental trip down the side.

Stu's face is even redder now, and not just from laughing himself silly. We need to get this boy some suncream.

We have a few more runs and then, at the bottom, go shopping. We're shocked by the prices of sun stuff. A small bottle of Factor 25 for the price of a night-out. We head to our left (facing down the hill) at the crossroads just before the Happy End pub and eventually find a supermarket with sun stuff that we can just about afford. There's a tip, bring it with you. Lip balm, suncream and aftersun, especially if you're going out later in the season. The sun may not feel that hot, but any light it's producing is effectively doubled by the white reflective snow. Better to have it and not need it than to sell a child just to get some.

Anyway, we head back for food and a kip, then off out to the Irish Bar, where we meet Marky J, Dave Canski and others. They've not had the food and kip so there's, eh, a gap in our levels of sobriety. They all head off to Bar Evil again and we wander up to the new (to us) Amigos. It's just not the same (see 2007) but the band is good. It's pointed out to me that a lot of Bulgarian cover bands don't actually know the words, but they know the sounds that sound like the words, if you know what I mean. These guys are a perfect example.

Don't get me wrong though, they were great. They worked hard creating a great atmosphere in the place which improved immeasurably by a punter taking to the mic with his daughter who was just above toddler age to belt out 'Don't Stop Believing'. In fact, they brought the house down.

Quick crepe and then bed with a belly full of beer, watching women explore each other on the telly.

Thursday - St Patrick raises his head, we keep ours down.

Morning world! Jesus, those people over there should use those curtains! Really. The downside of a big courtyard overlooking the rooms opposite. Still, if they had been 30 years younger it would have been a major upside.

For some reason (I'm saying nothing), Stu decides he's having a day off, so I'm off and away on my lonesome. The slopes are really quiet today so have a few good runs with some pistes to myself for a bit. Some slow tunes on the mp3 player and a really nice time on the hill.

Stu: I chill out and watch Mythbusters and The Hawk on TV. I don't learn anything about snowboarding but I learned the ins and outs of the Archimedes' principle.

It's St. Patrick's Night so later we head to the Irish Bar, but there's a bit of a weird atmosphere, and leave before there's a riot. The Lion isn't much better, so we have a few games of pool in the hotel's bowling alley (yes I found it this year, helped by the enormous flashing neon sign out side that said 'BOWLING') and then head back to the room for a crepe and lots of drink on the balcony, talking about times past and other rubbish. Stu feels bad about not making it onto the hill today, but then again most of the people we know who are out this week ( I later find out) didn't make it up today either.

Head to bed with a belly full of beer watching women explore each other on the telly.

Friday - Awsome dog and bad kebab.

I'm up and away doing the top to bottom run to Shiligarnika a couple of times. It's a bit colder today and the sides of the piste still shaded by trees are a bit icy so I stick to the middle and take it easy. I meet Stu for lunch at the Shili pubs and as we're tucking in more people we know from the forums start to arrive. A very chilled afternoon during which I leave all my stuff and go off for a few quick runs.

When I return it's just Stu and a few stragglers so we strap in and head for the gondola. Stu catches his heel edge and batters down on his coccyx, then a few moments later does the toeside and goes down on his knees. He actually has to blow snow from his nose. When we get to the bottom he swears, gives the run the fingers and jumps on a pod as I head off down the ski road.

After a chill-out in the hotel dozing in front of the telly we get scrubbed up to go out for dinner. It's a classy one tonight as we've realised we haven't had a proper Bulgarian road side kebab yet. They are delicious with lumps of chicken, garlic sauce, a smattering of veg and if you ask for chips with it, they wrap them up in the bread too, mixed in with your meat. Sounds a bit weird, tastes incredible, so we can't wait.

We find a place on the road up to the gondola and fortunately the guy doesn't understand Stu when he asks to see the wine list. I order up and I'm actually making cooing noises as it's being assembled.

Thing is though, it was terrible. Really, really bad, and this is a first for us in Bulgaria. So disappointed but someone around here is wise to this, and knew exactly what was going to happen next. An awesome wee dog has been following us ever since we bought them, cocksure in the knowledge that we'll be throwing them away or barfing, or both, pretty soon. He really is a cutie, so I sit by a closed ski hire place and feed it to him bit by bit, thinking we're getting on like a house on fire … until it's finished as he's of like a shot to find Stu.

By the way, if you fancy one of these, the only place I can heartily recommend is in Borovets, just outside the Buzz Bar. You usually have to queue for a few moments, but that only points out the fact that the place is popular and the food is always going to be freshly cooked. (At the time of writing this I have about a week to go until I'm back in Borovets and my mouth is watering!)

Back in Bansko and we try the Happy End which is dead, then a quick pint or two in Amigos and then across the road to Friendly's. Steve C and Canski are there, as is Tanny who is a bit sad as this is her last night. We say goodbye to her and hello to many others as a lot of people we know turn up. It's a long night, during which at one point we're sure we see Robert Downey Jnr. We're really convinced it's him, the likeness was startling, until he starts singing as all illusions of partying with Iron Man are ruined.

As I said, it was a long night, and at some point we ended up in a Casino with Canski. Well, small, faux-classy arcade gallery really but it had a big automated roulette wheel. I bung in a 10 lev note and I'm delighted that almost immediately I get it up to around 70. I may be drunk, but I'm not stupid. I quickly cash-out and announce my retirement from games of chance for the evening. Actually, I thought that cashing out may have caused a problem as the guys working here, now that I look at them, are all 6 foot square and sour faced, but they aren't stupid either … they are delighted to give me my cash, knowing that 9 times out of 10 a winning punter will return to give it all back, and then some. I haven't. At least, not yet.

We find somewhere still open, have a few more regretful beers, then head home stopping only to pay our dues to the crepe god. I know Stu is really drunk by now, as he orders a crepe with frankfurters. I'm still not sure how that worked.

Saturday – Rain and a chips and cheese revelation.

Dark and cloudy outside as I'm woken up by rain falling against the window. The TV in the Strazhite, like most of the hotels in the resort, has a channel that streams the conditions on the mountain, switching from camera to camera. (Why they don't stream this online I don't know … wouldn't be that expensive and I'm sure it would get thousands of hits) Anyway, as I hoped the rain in town was falling as snow on the mountain, so before you could say 'powder' I was off.

I'm a wee bit wobbly after last night, so don't do anything silly, but do end up getting Blue 6 to myself for a bit (as seen in the video 'Sublime Moments' on the introduction page of this blog). Some tunes, some nice snow and some long slow turns on my board, it's a great morning.

Stu joins me in the afternoon and we continue to take it easy, especially since he's got some lovely bruises from yesterday. Further down the hill the snow is more sleet, making everything a bit slushy by the gondola. I give the ski road a miss and get a pod off the hill for the last time this year.

We find everyone in the Mish-Mash where Stu and I order chips and cheese on a recommendation. Holy God they're good. Fresh chips and local cheese which Stu declares is the best he's ever tasted, and I have to agree.

Later we head to Amigo's where Stu declares he doesn't want to go home and again I have to agree, but unfortunately a few hours later, at 5 something in the morning, we're settling into our coach seats for the long drive back to Sofia. It's a long, brutal day, with the flight stopping off and waiting for an hour or so before eventually dropping us in Edinburgh.

Home once again.

I'll end this sermon with a few words from father Stu ...

Stu: I really didn't want to leave. Its safe to say, our visit in 2007 was not great, to the point in fact that if it had been my first trip to Bulgaria I would have never returned.

The place, in my opinion, has chilled a lot. Not that Bansko needs to alter to suit my needs but I found the locals much more relaxed and welcoming, creating a better atmosphere … no-one shouting or swearing at us demanding tips and such this year. I would have no reservations about going back or recommending the resort to others. Bansko is fantastic, cheap beer and food, some great bars with live music every night (Not the Happy End) and the locals and ex-pats (I hate that expression) that stay there make everything that much sweeter, people such as SteveC and Wendy go that extra mile to meet you and offer as much help as they can and always have great stories to tell and advice to give. Its that personal touch that makes Bulgaria the only country I want to ride in.

By the time you read this my seventh trip to the country is already booked and I've noticed that when anyone mentions the word 'holiday', I dont think about the beach and the sun, I think about snow, up to my knees, sugar soft, falling a lot and perfect turns, crowded slopes or on it alone, there truly is no other feeling like that few linked turns that you don't need to think about, you enjoy the snow under your feet, the temperature, the space, its you and the mountain, nothing else exists. If that seems a little sentimental then I apologise, but the mountains always call us back, Beginner or expert, we can all enjoy it and learn from each other.

Here, here. And Stu, thank you so much for writing stuff down!

See you on the slopes.

NOTES


Avalanche: Nature Unleashed is here http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0363448/ It stinks.


For those who asked, the Bansko - Breathe video was filmed on a Kodak Playsport and on a little MD80 mounted to the board which you can see in shot as I get off the chairlift.


I also had a cheap handheld mono-pod and fish eye lens, both bought on ebay from China, so the whole set up probably cost less than £120. Not bad for a set up that can record in 1080p at 30fps or (and this was the setting I used most) 720p at 60fps.


It was edited on Avid's Pinnacle software with the help of some cigarettes and vodka.


I've bought a much longer mono-pod for 2012, we'll see what happens.