Borovets 2009

Bad start this year. We really, really couldn't find a holiday. Emails flew back and forth every day from Christmas up until a week or so before we were meant to depart, when finally I got, eh, something.


Flying from Manchester, we're booked into a Borovets hotel, but we won't know what one until we get there. I'm fine with that but Stu is moaning that'll we'll probably get The Overlook (The Bor) again. I argue that The Bor is lovely, but have to agree that the long walk does get annoying after a while.


Inghams Square Deals. We'll have to wait and see.




Friday - We're (almost) on our way ...


The night before we leave, Stu joins me in the house after a mad day of shopping and making his way to Glasgow, and as usual when I meet up with him after work he's worried about the snow reports. To be honest, the reports from people coming back after their holidays are mixed at best. Does the gondola keep closing, is the resort too icy? Again we'll have to wait and see.


Personally I'm not bothered as both 'Snow Forecast' and 'Met Check' have started reporting large snowfalls over the next few days, so I'm chilled out as Tim comes round for some Tacos and a night of ski movies to get us in the mood. We're chatting and suddenly both Stu and Tim realise they have no insurance, so we head online to get it and spend the rest of the night looking at Borovets on YouTube.


Actually, and I don't think I've mentioned it on any of these blogs before, but the internet is invaluable for pre-departure checks. Not only getting insurance at the last second, but you can't beat YouTube, for raw unedited footage of the resort you are about to visit, and fairly regular video snow reports from places like BanskoBlog.com.


No weather site is better than any other, but when Met-check and Snow Forecast say the same thing, you can usually believe it. Weather checks also make up a lot of the posts on bulgariaski.com and skidvd.com as many people on there are in resort all season long, and will tell you what lifts are open, how much snow is on it and much more, like where to get the best meal or cheapest beer.


Talking of beers, we've probably had too much, Tim heads home and Stu heads to bed. I decide I'd better start packing.




Saturday - A beer so big it's hard to lift.


Six in the morning is just too early. Mumbling and stumbling we load the car, pick up Tim, and head to ASDA for the usual haul of 'things you can only get in the UK and are missed in Bulgaria' for people who are living out in the resort and eventually hit the road to Manchester.


A few Bulgarian tunes, unbelievable farts and scary we're-not-going-to-make-it fuel stops later we hit Manchester airport well on time. I have my last few cigs outside then get ripped off in an airport shop buying discs for my camcorder. There's a tip. Don't leave buying recording media or memory cards until the last minute!


Stu's nerves aside, the flight is fine. Just under 3 hours sees us in Sofia and with a wee bottle for the transfer. We head off in three different directions, stop, go back and speak to the rep and eventually find the right coach. An hour and a half later we're in Borovets.

Hotel Moura

On approach to the resort we were handed our lift passes, welcome packs and told that we are staying in the Moura. Superb. I've not stayed there before, but had a friend who had. It's central, being just a few yards down the hill from the gondola, and is clean, warm and has a nice bar. It even has a couple of parrots in a big cage in reception. Tim is over the moon as last year he was down in Samokov town, so staying in the resort is a real novelty. Stu and I are worried though, as we enter the room we realise that there's just a single and a double bed. Who's going to share with whom?


I go to reception and get palmed off, so come back swearing and realise that there's now a maid in the room, converting the rooms only chair into a third bed. Ahhh, that's why I got palmed off I think … whilst quietly moving my bags onto the double.


If you book a package holiday to a ski resort in Bulgaria, on half board, you'll get a free meal on arrival. It may be a bag of something weird, or as in this case, a sit-down three-course meal. A lot is said on internet forums about the quality of Bulgarian food, but to be honest, who cares? It was warm, filling and free.


We've got places to be this evening, but before we venture out we have to visit the noisy night club just below reception in our hotel. Tonight was the only night we heard a peep from it, and after discovering that it was populated by just men, around twenty big men, (I'm saying nothing) we headed out to last years home from home, The Alpina.


The bar is open, and is packed. As arranged online I shout 'On the piste' as we walk in and get a cheer … but more importantly we meet up with Caroline and Bobby who we'd spent a lot of last year's holiday with. It's brilliant to see old friends again. We chat with loads of people from the forums, then as all the sensible ones call it a night we decide to pay another favourite haunt a visit, Franco's. Tommy the bar manager is still a bad bad man and gives us a beer each in a glass so big it's hard to lift. But we manage.


Stumbling back to the rooms around 2am, food in hand, old board still in place on Franco's roof, and more importantly, lots of snow on the ground, all is right with the world. I head to bed whilst Tim and Stu have an unwise nightcap at the hotel bar. They fall in and wake me up an hour later. I wasn't watching 'Sexy Sport Clips', honest.




Sunday - Two year's misery wiped out in two turns


Alarms go off at 8am, snooze buttons are hit fast. Not really, no-one of us can move that fast so snooze buttons are hit when the cries of 'shut that fucking thing up' get too loud and violent. We all surface at a speed we're comfortable with.


After a mini snowball fight and some provisions bought from the shop next door we're up, out and on the gondola. Tim's a bit worried about the hire boots he has, but forgets about them for the moment as we reach the top. Blue skies and fairly empty pistes. We get on our gear and take the big blue run (Markudjik 1) straight to the bottom. Stu has a great time, the best in a long time and mentions at the the bottom that that's two years misery washed away in two turns.


We're heading for the new chairlift between Markudjik 2A and 2B and as Tim skis off I take my board off and walk with Stu down to it. Well, the new chairlift is a breath of fresh air. What used to be a terrifying oh-fuck-please-don't-fall poma, is now a relaxing sit down. Until we get to the top and the wind hits. Visibility drops to almost nothing so we strap in, stay close, and get out of there as soon as we can.


That run ( I think it's called Sunar) from the top of the chairlift back down to the cafés below the gondola is another one of these ones that's 'green for skiiers, not so sure for boarders'. The fall line requires you to be on one edge far more than the other. Stu's legs are on the hot side after it so he decides to take the Gondola back down as Tim and I hit Yastabrets 1. We hare it down, and beat Stu to Franco's by a good few minutes. We go for the cannibal pizzas again and are shocked that they are £8. Stu starts a chant, What do we want? CHEAP PIZZA When do we want it? CHEAP PIZZA. Needs work. As do Franco's prices. We used to practically live there when in Borovets, now it's getting too expensive.


Tim's boots are starting hurt him badly so after lunch we split up, Stu and I tackling different parts of the Rila slopes, Tim off to change boots then back up the gondola to properly try them out.

Over on the Rila slopes

We reunite at the end of the day in the lobby of the Samokov Hotel for the welcome meeting, and the infamous welcome meeting wine. We sign up for the quiz as it's usually a good laugh, head back to the hotel, grab an unidentifiable dinner, and eventually fall asleep whilst trying to take off our gear.


At 9pm we're awoken by Stu shouting 'It's snowing!' We get over excited and start flinging it about but for our own safety we have to call a snowball truce before anyone dies and/or gets chucked out of the hotel. It lasts around ten minutes.


We wander up the Alpina with our bag of 'things you can only get in the UK and are missed in Bulgaria' for Amiee and Arie who work and live there. Marmite, freezer bags, mustard, crème eggs in exchange for lots of beer. It's still snowing hard as Tim goes outside to cool down and Stu and I look out, across at the Breza hotel … the first hotel we stayed in together here. Stu goes off on one…


Stu: Look, the Breza Hotel. Looming in the darkness. Remember that guy who worked there when we stayed. He freaked me out something serious. Some creature who stalked and crept around his own hotel. A werewolf, chewing on the skulls of children when the moon is close enough to whisper its secrets in the ear of the mentally insane. Every time he laughs, somewhere, a dog howls, lies down, and dies. I'm sure if you could see the hotel from the air, you would see the shadow of a Manta Ray emanating from it and dwarfing the resort.


Personally I quite liked it.


Fortunately, just as Stu was reaching his peak, there was a crashing noise from outside. A parasol over an outside table was so heavy with snow it had collapsed, onto Tim. Arie runs out to save him, but the rest of us can't move for laughing.


All is well, but we decide, after watching 'Sexy Sport Clips' for half an hour, to call it a night.




Monday - Filming 'Borovets Heaven'


Bobby, Caroline, Tim and myself are up out and on the gondola, cameras running, for a few amazing runs in the fresh snow. We even hike up that little bit above Fon Fon to get some first tracks, and although it's deep deep powder we all get to the bottom unscathed.

Just walked up this ...

... for some deep snow

But at least we won't lose Caroline in it ... not with THAT helmet on.

We do the mountain twice, and have some amazing runs that appear in the YouTube video 'Borovets Heaven' that appears above.


Stu: Its 11.45 before I manage to stretch my muscles into something resembling co-operation. The black run (Martinovi Baraki 4) has re-opened and there are people both flying and falling down it. I'm staying away from that bad boy. I have some runs back and forth where the ski-a-thong was last year (Iglika) and eventually head up the chairlift.


I'm strapping in at the top of the red as my phone goes. The guys are in Mamma Mia's having a pizza so I start to tentatively make my way down to them. At the point where the green run crosses the red I go arse over tit and end up in the 'scorpion position' flat on my front with legs and board almost, almost touching my head. Bugger. Nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm only on full view of everyone including the live webcam. This run is too icy. Never again.


It's not Stu's day as the staff at Mamma Mia's immediately dub him 'Jimmy, the rock dinosaur' for reasons know only to themselves, but we have a lovely lunch with not only Stu, Tim and myself, but Bob and Caroline, and Bobs sister Nicky and her husband who confusingly was also called Stu.

Jimmy the Rock Dinosaur

We realise that we've been chatting for ages, and that the lifts will close in under two hours so Tim and I shoot back up the gondola, leaving everyone else to the Rila.


Stu: The other Stu accompanies me on the Rila chair and as he's still a beginner I'm quite relieved. It means I can take my time and don't need to keep up with Bob or Caroline. I get on okay at first but then I end up falling four times in my last two runs down, one of which was into a skier (his fault though). I hate this fucking run. Seriously. I hope it gets aids.


Stu's still moaning as we head up to the Alpina, after dinner in the hotel, for our annual pre-arranged-on-the-internet poker night. It's busier than expected so we hastily arrange another table and slowly whittle 18 players down to five. Stu was still moaning, but then went very very quiet, and put in a little bet. (I should explain that he's played poker about three or four times, the last time being in this very pub last year.) Tim, who plays regularly, raises and gets well and truly trapped by Stu's immediate all in. Tim takes ages, and eventually calls against Stu's unbelievable quad Kings.


Tim: Jimmy the rock dinosaur quad king bastard. Quad Kings! QUAD KINGS!


Sorry if you don't play poker, but it's a fairly rare hand. I took a picture. Stu went on to win for around 40lev, knocking me out in second with trip aces. He stopped moaning too..


We have another game after the pub shuts with a few stragglers and the bar staff that goes on a bit. So much so that the pub ran out of draft beer. We soldier on with bottles, Stu and I safe in the knowledge that the game has more than covered tonight's drinks bill!




Tuesday - I Can't Believe it's Not Butter.


Up and away early for some more runs up and down the mountain with Tim as Stu examines his bruises and decides to have a day off. Bobby, Caroline, Tim and myself stick with each other for the day having some incredible runs. On the way to the mid-station I pull a few very high speed carving turns so I rocket across the slope with my body at such an angle that my shoulders are brushing the piste. Bob said it would have looked so much more impressive if I wasn't screaming.


We review all the day's footage in the hotel bar and are joined by Stu plus two other residents, Andy (or was it Tony) and John. They're old school skiers but Bulgaria virgins, and although they're finding the going good they're questioning the grading of a lot of the runs, mentioning that a lot of them, particularly the Rila reds, would be graded as black runs in France or Austria. Having done them as ice, at night, I have to agree.


After a rest, a wash and a meal, we're upstairs in Franco's for the quiz. Not as good this year as we're thrown in with some people from Essex who, well, lets say, they were finding it a bit hard. Stu sits and reads the menu and comments now and again at the translations, and wonders how you can get a home-made salmon, whilst Tim, the artist in the group, gets the 'make something out of tinfoil' round to do. He makes a cock and balls. He even added some mayonnaise.


We know we're not going to win so start to take the piss. We get the question, “What brand of spread is named after a Greek Goddess?” and we persuade our Essex team mates, and I'm not making this up, to write, “I Can't Believe it's Not Butter.'


Andy/Tony and John have turned up late and joined us at the table and we rope them into doing some of the interactive rounds, like the mildly racist talk like a Bulgarian round. I think we left before it finished.


The lights on top of the Rila Hotel illuminate a heavy looking sky as we head to the Alpina, which is empty save for a few familiar faces. Clive and his lady-killer son Dan come in for a while and we have a nice quiet night until Amiee decides to lock up and go out on the town. We head out and discover it's snowing. SNOWING. Big huge heavy flakes that we savour walking around in, knowing that tomorrow will be spectacular. Early to bed (at around 2 in the morning)




Wednesday - POWDER DAY!


It's been snowing all night and the resort looks like a winter paradise. We soon realise that everyone has had the same idea of being up and away early and the gondola queue is huge, so decide to wait it out in the resort during which time Stu and I can get our boards properly prepared. We head to Revolution Bar (where Tim last year had his first ever Brandy and Hot Chocolate) and get our boards serviced whilst we're having a lazy coffee. It comes with a free shot. It's 8 in the morning!


A wax, an edge and 30 minutes later we walk onto a gondola pod that we get to ourselves. It's a brilliant morning, spoiled only by the eye watering fart that Stu does a quarter of the way up' Health and Safety be damned as Tim and I rip open the doors enough to get our noses out into the fresh air.

Jeeeeeesus! Stu!

Stu: This is the first time I've been in such amazing conditions on my board and I love it. I've always been on ice or hard packed snow. I'm buzzing so hard I'm sweating spinal fluid. The mountain is almost empty. I actually manage to go all the way along the path bit without having to take my board off and walk. In fact for large parts of it I'm going down backwards then switching back to my normal stance. YES! THIS IS AMAZING. Tim heads off on his own and I insist that Robert goes with him but he stays with me. Thankfully. We head all the way down Yastabrets 3. It's not the steepness that gets me its how incredibly bumpy it is so I'm taking it nice and easy. We make it in not too bad time and as we reach the bottom Tim reappears and straight lines down the black at the bottom. Even he is surprised at how quick I managed it. (A lot of this run appears in the video Borovets Heaven).


It's snowing again as we walk over to the chair lift and meet Bob, Caroline, Clive and Dan. We all head to the mid station together, skiing and boarding around each other, and I'm chuffed that I almost kept up with Dan, who's half my age.


Stu: I'm last to go and I really have the best run of my life (so far), which includes all my years of skiing. I'm turning fast and often, keeping my radius shorter and keeping my speed constant. I actually smile to myself as I cut up Caroline and fly past her. She beats to the mid station of course as I take my board off to walk the narrow path. Here we all have a drink and take a few pics …

I decided to quit while I'm ahead and follow Clive and Dan down to the Alpina while the rest go back up gondola for another run.


Meet up later for lunch, then as Tim heads back up the gondola I decide to stick with Stu and stay on the Rila side … but my lift pass has stopped working. It happens every year, I seem to get the one with the dodgy barcode. It still has the right dates on it, but the automatic barriers don't care. There's no liftie there so I decide to jump the barrier, catch the bottom of my salopette on it, and crash down on the other side. Just to make things better my board gets stuck it the bar on the chairlift at the top as we try to raise it and we only just get off, then discover that although the mountain is a winter wonderland, this place is still a bit icy. So much so that Stu takes his board off and walks.


Bob and myself are too a bit annoyed at the icy piste, but we see a bit that looks to have perfect snow. Ok, it's a black run, and there's a big barrier across it saying 'CLOSED' … but it looks so tempting.


Of course, as soon as we're over the crest of the hill, and through the lovely deep snow at the top we discover that is was closed for a very good reason. Huge clumps of ice and snow that we climb over rather than board down on. Big patches of grass. Scary sheets of ice. Lovely stuff. We slowly make it about halfway down where the conditions improve immeasurably. In fact, it looks like the piste-bashers got this far up and called it a day, so we cruise down to the bottom of the run, slowing only for the part where it's intersected by the green path and lower down, a road. It's at the road that we meet Stu again, and the three of us head across to the Alpina to compare bruises.


Steve C and (a heavily pregnant) Wendy who we know from the forums and who now live in Bansko, have made the trip across to see everyone so we chat with them for a bit before a quick kip, change and lovely gorgeous beautiful steak in Katy's (Go there.)


Before you know it we're back in the Alpina for the quiz. Thing is, some of the questions sound familiar … very familiar. “What brand of spread is named after a Greek Goddess?” These were the exact same questions from the other night! We actually write 'Flora' this time, amongst many other correct answers, and get a bottle of vodka for our troubles. It doesn't make it to the morning.


Steve and Wendy eventually hit the road back to Bansko around midnight, and we head at the same time. Like the sophisticated men about town we are we wander back to the hotel, taking turns to slug vodka straight from the bottle. Classy. We finsh it while watching 'Sexy Sports Clips'.

Actually, I should explain 'Sexy Sports Clips'. Depending on your hotel you will get certain channels on the TV in your room. One year in Bansko I got HBO which was brilliant, and you'll usually get CNN or BBC World or some other channel in English. And sometimes, if you're lucky, you'll get porn. Proper porn (Obviously this is a subjective use of the word 'lucky'!) We'd been able to find it most years so far, until now, when all we could get was this weird thing called 'Sexy Sports Clips'. Basically a softcore striptease in a sporty location … a go-kart track, or a gym, or (the poor girl) a ski slope and it was as pathetic as it sounds. But at the same time, it was so bad it was good, and was never off the TV later on in the evening. As I said ... classy.




Thursday - The missing key


Lovely day, so we're off and out and various speeds according to our levels of fitness. Tim, 9am, me 10am. At 11am, Stu gets out of bed and goes to the shop, then tries to go back to bed again.


Stu: When I return to my total shock the maid is here and, Oh is she pissed looking. Two words. Bomb Site. There are more beer glasses on our table than at the bar. The smell would choke a donkey, the body on the floor....


Anyway I hang around until she leaves, grab my gear then saunter up the hill. I grab some food at Bar Joy by the gondola station and chat to some English people for a bit. The Bulgarian guy here laughs and remarks "20 hour drinking, 1 hour ski, 3 hours sleep, good sport this drinking!"


I manage a few circuits to the mid station, but my legs aren't strong enough today to cope with going any further down. There's an almost total white-out on my third run and due to traffic I have to take off my board and walk the long straight. Kids flying and falling everywhere. Some people seem to be desperate to get off the mountain and I don't blame them. Its shockingly easy to get lost in a white out, almost happened to me on the first day. I head back down just before the gondola closes and sit it out in the Alpina.


I'm chatting to the usual suspects when Tim and TK go past in a horse-taxi … then I notice the room key is still in my pocket. Shit! My phone is off, but Bob gets a text,


*HAVE YOU SEEN STU?


*YES, HE'S SITTING NEXT TO ME.


I bet the next text is, does he have our fucking room key on him?


*DOES HE HAVE OUR FUCKING ROOM KEY ON HIM?


Laughing, Bob, Caroline and myself head down to rescue them from the lobby bar.


Stu eventually appears and we finally get our gear off. We've spent the day filming and boarding/skiing the mountain from top to bottom and have had a hard but brilliant time of it. The piste is superb at the moment and with the snow cannons running too, the conditions up top are amazing, but by this time we are well and truly knackered, and need -NEED- to get these boots off.


We're asleep in seconds.


Later we're up and about but Stu is feeling the pace and takes ages to walk up to the pub. We amble with him and suddenly realise, as we're slowly strolling around, just how quiet the place is. And this isn't the end of the season or anything, this is the end of January. The Alpina is always busy, but that's because it's one of the cheapest and friendliest places you'll ever find, but other pubs seem very quiet. We reckon it's a purely economic factor. It's better to sell ten beers at 2lev than one beer at 4lev, but try telling some of these people that. We haven't really been in Franco's all week purely because of this, and overall the whole resort needs to have a think about its pricing structure before very much longer. We go because we love it, but many people go because it's a cheap option, cheaper than many resorts in the Alps, but if it keeps going this way it simply won't be worth it.


Anyway. Thursday night in the Alpina is Karaoke night, and it doesn't disappoint. The place is packed and many people are queuing out to belt out Oasis in the key of 'Naaaah'. We're distracted by the mind numbing vision of Stu drinking bottled water instead of beer, but as the night goes on and the place empties a bit, he decides the water has helped enough that he can go back onto the pints again.

ROCK!

Now the place is a bit quieter, Tim decides he should have a go and looks at the song list. Upon discovering that there's loads of Metallica and AC/DC he's up like a shot and we have a hard job getting the mic from him. The other Stu eventually succeeds, then we wish he hadn't has he murders … no, garottes ... Ring of Fire. A very funny night that one day will go up on YouTube ... as I still have it on tape. Keep sending the money guys.




Friday - Last Full Day


Tim and I are up and out and giving the circuit from top to mid-station a good kicking. Stu was going to come up and join us later, but decides to stick to the green on the Rila side. It's a good day's riding all told, but it's the last day and we're all feeling the strain of long days and late nights.


After an early stop and a longer than usual kip, we have a quiet game of poker in the Alpina, which ends up with Stu and I heads up. We're too tired for a long game so decide to split the majority of the pot and go all-in for the remainder. Stu wins. For fuck's sake! He hasn't played for two years as I write this, I on the other hand have won a few tournaments and have a high ranking on the online site I use, but I bet the next time we lock horns he wipes the floor with me.


Swearing, I get the last beers in, and we start to say our goodbyes.


Stu: I decide I want a souvenir, so go to steal a small poster for a strip club that's stapled to a telegraph pole by the taxi rank. The taxi drivers find this very funny and start shouting and making 'Nee Naw' siren noises at us before bursting out laughing. 


We do the same and go back to the hotel in a happy mood. 'Sexy Sport Clips' is on. Look its a lovely equestrian scene. There's a sweet, pert girl taking her riding gear off beside a horse and trying not to step in the steaming pile of shit by her feet that has just appeared. We're crying with laughter.




Saturday - Proper Last day.


Long lie, long shower, then short walk up to Alpina for a long breakfast. Saturday is movie day, so we spend our last hours relaxing in front of the TV and watching coaches ferry people in and out of the resort.


Stu: I'm feeling terrible today and after much deliberation I decide to go to the pharmacy in the Rila. Unfortunately the pharmacist spoke no English so I grab my stomach and simulate being sick all over the counter. With a grave look on her face she nods and hands me some orange pills. To this day I'm still too afraid to Google the name on the back but they're NOT for an upset stomach. Knowing my luck theses are birth control pills. For horses. Having 'been on the pill' for a good few hours now I'm starting to feel strange and emotional … and I want to eat some hay. I decide to visit Nurse Aimee at the Alpina. "This man needs strong Vodka, STAT"


Later in the afternoon we say our 4th or 5th goodbye to everyone in the Alpina and we're off to the airport, sad to be leaving, but glad we were there in the first place. The flight and the trip back up the motorway to Scotland are a mercifully quick, but muted affair.


Stu: Maybe it's just me, but I find Borovets a rather weird and wonderful place. The resort must be built on ley-lines that cause the shifting of some strange gears. Its like Twin peaks but with better music. The realm of 'obey' the great sheep that watches all. I've only been to Bulgaria 5 times and with a bit of luck I'll soon make it 6. A quick check of my emails and I dive into my own bed. Already as I lie here falling into a deep sleep i can hear the song of the resort calling me back. That strange magnetic pull, an inexplicable low hum that once your mind and soul is tuned into, Will never let you go. Once more, oblivion welcomes me with open arms.

Same time next year then.

NOTES


Not long after we left, Wendy (nightmuffy on the forums) gave birth to the lovely bundle of fun Jess, who, by now, will be a better skier than me.


Amiee and Arie no longer have the Alpina. The prices have gone up.


EXTRA NOTE


This page gets more views than any other on this site, by a mile, so I looked up the referral information and do you know what I found out? Well, I thought it was the Borovets Heaven video as it's had well over 7000 views at the time of writing, but no ... it's that picture from Sexy Sport Clips that's bringing them here! Sorry guys, keep searching.